i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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