He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
