My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
