is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
