my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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