if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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