Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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