Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Enjoy the penises
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
