do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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