areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
