remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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