She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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