I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
