Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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