You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
