her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
