There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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