I heard we made out
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
