his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
