if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
