Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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