sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
