Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize