So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
