38 yer olds are good kisserssss
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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