I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
