I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
