you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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