As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
