Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
