sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
