Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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