I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
