ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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