my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
