i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
