What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
