My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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