I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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