Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
