The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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