to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
