walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Crop dusting thru forever 21
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
