Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize