It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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