I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
