So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
