i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
