5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
