How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There's always time for handjobs
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
