3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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