Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
