Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
