he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
