All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
pray to the hookup gods
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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