I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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