i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
