Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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