saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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