i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
