it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Pooping to opera.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
