ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
