Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is her dick bigger than yours?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
